I see. You saw a person acting kind and stopped thinking at that moment then. You could have done anything. You could have leaned into it. You could have thought of it as something to use to your gain by growing close. You could have used it to help decide how to live, either by mimicking it or rejecting it. But you did nothing but it a point of concern.
But I digress. Why were you fighting with Jaeger-kun, then?
You’re right. I chose to do nothing. I was afraid. Afraid he’d seen my weakness, my other self I pushed away. I didn’t want anyone to see it, including him.
[ It's not. Dazai might act kind, but he's not a kind person at all. Dazai is acutely aware of who he is, and he's aware that he's not a person like Odasaku, could could handle this with kindness and empathy; he's a person who lacks the qualifications to be human.
Still, his response isn't the result of ignoring what's been said, but rather than he'd like to confirm his suspicions before offering his thoughts: ]
What reason did you have to attack him? What is it that Jeager-kun did that was so egregious and so important that you felt the need to attack him? There's no shortage of acceptable reasons to attack a person. The fear of a person, or rather the threat that they pose, would be reason enough.
[ Prove him wrong and show him that it wasn't something inane. Dazai is listening. ]
[Him and Atsushi talk about this was more than enough salt on an open would. This here. He could feel Dazai breathing down his neck and they’re only texting. Just punch the face already!
He could try to explain this, but the damage was done. Yes, he did it for the young duckling all cause he harbored something from his younger self, and saw her as a ‘friend’. It was difficult to explain, but here he is.]
In that moment, I wanted him to experience the pain he inflicted on someone before. Abandonment. Betrayal. I’m sorry Dazai-san.
[ Akutagawa should be grateful that this isn't in person so he can't see the completely vacant look this has brought on. But he isn't quite judging, no; he's listening ]
You seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding about your position in this world, so allow me to correct it for you.
If I hadn't invited you into the Port Mafia, you would be dead by now. The Port Mafia is an organization that not even the government wants to antagonize. The organization has too many powerful Ability users in it, to say nothing of its leadership. Your allies will ensure that you're kept alive regardless of how egregious your actions are, just as long as you maintain your value and loyalty. If you had gone anywhere else, you would have inevitably been put down like a rabid dog.
I won't let anyone harm you for the sake of it, but if If Maruki-san, Jaeger-kun, or anyone else you decide to antagonize decide they want to crush your limbs or snap your neck, I won't step in. Odasaku might want to interfere, but I won't allow him to. For the first time, you'll suffer the consequences of your own actions. If you're unlucky, it'll be repeated. Isn't that wonderful?
You've already exposed what a weak-hearted person you are by losing your temper over another person's hurt feelings, so at least you no longer need to have any fear of that. You have no cards left to play, and you're outmatched on every front.
[ And that's what makes the entire affair so frustrating. If would be a lie to say that it isn't all that much more frustrating for it being someone that Dazai knows and is fond of, but only insomuch as that he's well aware of what a misstep this is for it, and over something as foolish as a brief and fleeting as a passing sentiment.
Maruki understands people and Akutagawa doesn't; he has power that most people lack, and more importantly, he has endurance that a man with a weak and sickly body could never match.
With that said, Dazai lacks the time to go about browbeating someone for no reason, and he lacks the care to offer gentle guidance to another person for the sake of being kind. But that little exchange is enough to tell him how high tensions are, and more importantly, how quickly things have the potential to escalate, and so... ]
You haven't been under my command in four years now, but I should still offer you guidance at times like this. You should think of a way to convince Maruki-san to excuse your continued existence, and Jaeger-kun as well, and a means to assure them that you'll stay out of their way.
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monstercoat) wrote2023-05-08 01:13 pm
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But I digress. Why were you fighting with Jaeger-kun, then?
1/2
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no subject
Still, his response isn't the result of ignoring what's been said, but rather than he'd like to confirm his suspicions before offering his thoughts: ]
What reason did you have to attack him? What is it that Jeager-kun did that was so egregious and so important that you felt the need to attack him? There's no shortage of acceptable reasons to attack a person. The fear of a person, or rather the threat that they pose, would be reason enough.
[ Prove him wrong and show him that it wasn't something inane. Dazai is listening. ]
WHY IS FINDING THE RIGHT ICON HARD
He could try to explain this, but the damage was done. Yes, he did it for the young duckling all cause he harbored something from his younger self, and saw her as a ‘friend’. It was difficult to explain, but here he is.]
In that moment, I wanted him to experience the pain he inflicted on someone before. Abandonment. Betrayal. I’m sorry Dazai-san.
BC THERE'S SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE
And that person was Webby-san, right?
no subject
no subject
If I hadn't invited you into the Port Mafia, you would be dead by now. The Port Mafia is an organization that not even the government wants to antagonize. The organization has too many powerful Ability users in it, to say nothing of its leadership. Your allies will ensure that you're kept alive regardless of how egregious your actions are, just as long as you maintain your value and loyalty. If you had gone anywhere else, you would have inevitably been put down like a rabid dog.
I won't let anyone harm you for the sake of it, but if If Maruki-san, Jaeger-kun, or anyone else you decide to antagonize decide they want to crush your limbs or snap your neck, I won't step in. Odasaku might want to interfere, but I won't allow him to. For the first time, you'll suffer the consequences of your own actions. If you're unlucky, it'll be repeated. Isn't that wonderful?
You've already exposed what a weak-hearted person you are by losing your temper over another person's hurt feelings, so at least you no longer need to have any fear of that. You have no cards left to play, and you're outmatched on every front.
[ And that's what makes the entire affair so frustrating. If would be a lie to say that it isn't all that much more frustrating for it being someone that Dazai knows and is fond of, but only insomuch as that he's well aware of what a misstep this is for it, and over something as foolish as a brief and fleeting as a passing sentiment.
Maruki understands people and Akutagawa doesn't; he has power that most people lack, and more importantly, he has endurance that a man with a weak and sickly body could never match.
With that said, Dazai lacks the time to go about browbeating someone for no reason, and he lacks the care to offer gentle guidance to another person for the sake of being kind. But that little exchange is enough to tell him how high tensions are, and more importantly, how quickly things have the potential to escalate, and so... ]
You haven't been under my command in four years now, but I should still offer you guidance at times like this. You should think of a way to convince Maruki-san to excuse your continued existence, and Jaeger-kun as well, and a means to assure them that you'll stay out of their way.